My friend Em posted a link the other day on facebook to a column written by a mom named Glennon Melton for the Huffington Post. (Here's the original link if you want to check it out) In it, along with other things, she talks about time--more specifically--types of time. One is Chronos time. It's regular time--like my students staring down the clock waiting for that last bell on a Friday afternoon, listening to 4 agonising minutes of a Dunc temper tantrum, or even counting the seconds when my husband disappears for more than 15 minutes and I'm up to my ears in bubble bath, toys, and a screeching toddler who doesn't want to get out of the tub. Chronos, Melton explains, is the slow passing time that we most often live in. It can be mean. It makes us feel old-er, and it's what exhausts me by the end of the day. But then... there's Kairos time.
Kairos is God's time. It's time outside of time. It's metaphysical time. It's those magical moments in which time stands still and you see/feel/touch/hear/share the most wonderful things. I am all for Kairos time. It's the time I most look forward to everyday, and like Melton, half the time I can't remember the actual moment hours or days later, but I know it happened. But then again, there are times that I hope to remember always. For example--
A couple of days ago after a rather long day at school grading and prepping for semester exams, I came home to a crazy place--a kitchen that looked like it hadn't been cleaned in weeks, dinner still unmade, toys everywhere, and my husband and child chasing each other back and forth thru the living room. I seriously thought I might explode or start crying. I needed a break--a bit of time--just to switch gears and start all over. See.. I do love being a working mom, I really do (another time and another post), but there are times I wish that could snap my fingers and life would be simple and stress free, my house would be clean, and dinner would be waiting for me...ya right! Like that is ever going to happen.
Back to my Kairos moment...after cleaning the kitchen, fixing dinner, and getting Dunc a bath and in fresh pjs, I settled in with him for our nightly ritual...watching that day's episode of Dinosaur Train on the DVR and reading our good night books. Snuggled together on the couch, "blankie" and "monkee" in hand, I began to feel the slow rhythmic breathing of my little guy falling asleep on my chest--something he hasn't done much since he was a tiny baby. I was in heaven...or should I say Kairos time! I snuggled in and just looked at him in wonder---his blonde hair curling just at the ends, beautiful long eyelashes that could make anyone jealous, soft hand in mine, his baby smell--yes I think he still has it-- and that little sleepy sigh... how did I ever get so lucky? It's moments like this that I cherish being a mom and wish would never end.
SNAP! Back to Chronos time--I need to pick up toys and grade papers! As I slowly lift Dunc up and carry him to bed he snuggles deeper into my chest and opens his sleepy eyes for a just a sec, smiles and whispers, "Mum, wuv u". Ahh.... Kairos.